Keanu Reeves Will Replace Disgraced Alec Baldwin When “Rust” Resumes Filming


Alec Baldwin will most likely be spending about five years in prison for involuntary manslaughter for his disregard for human life on the set of “Rust.” That leaves the question…what happens to the film itself?

While some believe it should be scrapped as a bad memory, others want it to go on. The woman who died settled a suit with Baldwin that gives her husband an EP spot and a wad of cash if the film gets made, so onward it goes. One big change: Keanu Reeves will take over in the leading role.

“Nobody wants Baldwin here anymore,” said set designer Joe Barron, “but we want Halyna’s family to at least have some financial security.” The casting director, Art Tubolls,, said Keanu Reeves was the obvious choice.

“Not only is he someone even the taters like, but he’s also the nicest guy in the world,” said Tubolls, “all we had to do was mention her kid and he had no choice. We’re not even paying him.”

“They wanted to pay me,” Reeves told us via email, “but I wouldn’t have it. I said to give it to the kid, and then I added a million of my own scratch to pay homeless people in the area as extras.” All told, the project will cost Reeves about $3 million and a year of his life. “It’s worth it to make someone smile,” he said.

If only there were more like him, we could come up with stuff like this all day long. God Bless you, Keanu Reeves. And God Bless America.