Woke Super Bowl Halftime Show Gets Worst Ratings of All Time

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The numbers are in, and they’re not good for Super Bowl LVII Producers.

Rihanna’s extra-woke halftime show got the worst ratings of any in the history of halftime shows.

Advertisers were counting on a windfall of views to make the record-breaking $140 million per 30 seconds of airtime worth it.

According to Nielsen, they fell way short.

“They were looking for a 14 market share,” said Nielson spokesman Joe Barron, “which would give them an 8 count 40 on the backend, meaning thirty million views per ten thousand live hits online.

They only hit a marginal m12, leaving no fewer than 16 counts unreported.”

Wow. Numbers like that sound more like a Wimbledon match than the Super Bowl.

According to Guinness, this show will live in the books for a variety of reasons.

“The Black National Anthem was way above and beyond,” said Gerry from Philadelphia, who said he had a hard time enjoying the game after that already, and that Rihanna was the final straw.

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“Me and Louise packed it in and went home,” he said.

The party at the Doherty’s wasn’t the same after that.

Producers will have to take a good long look at just how terrible the show was before scheduling something so woke again.

Hopefully, next year they’ll get a good wholesome country act.

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