Rittenhouses File $60M Defamation Suit Against Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldgerg


Kyle and his mom have pulled the trigger on a lawsuit against The View’s Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. According to the family’s spokesman, Joe Barron, the Rittenhouses expect a quick and large settlement:

“The Rittenhouse family has been through hell at the hands of these evil Democrats. They were ripped apart on their partisan, biased opinion show and they will have retribution.”

Behar and Goldberg have repeatedly said that what Rittenhouse did was wrong, and Behar even said that his mother sent him across state lines with a gun. By our laws, the second she said that, the left became liars, and the Rittenhouses heroes. No matter what.

Then the verdict came, and the celebrities still showed disrespect towards the family on their constitutionally-protected free-speech television show. They can’t just do that. By our rules, once Kyle was free, everything he did was sanctioned by Jesus and precedent for all other kids who want to play soldier medic during dangerous social situations they should probably just stay out of.


So now, Kyle gets to sue everyone. I mean it, too. Here at America’s Last Line of Defense, we put a lot of effort into things like the Drunken Adventures of Nancy Pelosi and the Criminal Tendencies of Malia Obama. We’re committed, patriots, to providing you with all the rage you need to keep this kid in your cold, blackened hearts.

God Bless America.