Pabst Snatches $124 Million Deal From Bud as “Exclusive Provider” for Kid Rock’s World Tour


Anheuser Bush, a company that produces beer, has made a significant error in the form of Bud Light, which is now benefiting its competitor, Pabst. Pabst’s Blue Ribbon beer, more commonly known as PBR, will be the only alcoholic beverage provided at Kid Rock’s upcoming performance. Regardless of the venue’s size or location, the artist has ensured that his show will be free of Bud Light, offering an authentic, anti-snowflake experience for his fans.

According to Joe Barron, Bud Light’s Executive Director, the company is currently restructuring and figuring out what to do with over 5,000 barrels of product that were specifically produced for Kid Rock’s tour. Regrettably, the bars have shown no interest in this particular product, and the company is likely to take a financial hit as a result.

As this reporter pointed out, it is not uncommon for a seemingly innocuous event like this to spark the beginning of a new story. Nevertheless, Barron responded by stating that this is often how it goes, and when in Rome, one must do as the Romans do.


Senior Correspondent Dan Russel confirmed that in Rome, people do as the Romans do. In America, however, things are different. Here, the common belief is that when you become overly concerned with progressive ideals, it often leads to financial loss. Russel stated that the Romans do not seem to be as inclined towards such woke behavior as Americans are, and in some circles, it is even argued that Romans do not exist at all. Such a sentiment is frequently discussed on the steps of the city’s ancient structures.