Roseanne Barr will join Kid Rock for limited appearances on his “No Snowflakes” tour to warm up the audience before the music starts.
“Roseanne’s standup is groundbreaking,” Kid told ALLOD entertainment correspondent Skip Tetheludah, “she’ll have the audience rolling and ready for some Pabst Blue Ribbon and Kid Rock n’ Roll!”
Roseanne was just as excited, telling political correspondent Cynthia Luwhew that she wishes she could do the whole tour. “I’m not young enough to do 30 nights,” she said, “plus I wouldn’t be caught dead in some of those libtard cities like Detroit.”
74-year-old rocker Ted Nugent will also join the tour but the band backing Kid has said he “won’t likely play.” It’s not that he w on’t be physically able, he just “lacks the technical proficiency to keep up.”
So far, Roseanne will open shows in Springfield, Illinois, Manchester, New Hampshire, and the Lions Club on Staten Island. Tickets for those shows have already spiked to nearly 600 percent of face value with the news.
“I really wanted to go,” said social media influencer Joe Barron, ” but I have two tickets, and my family can use the $40 more than they can use a night of me peeing myself because I drank a keg of PBR.”
He may not be wrong, but he’s also exactly who Kid DOESN’T want at his shows. That’s why it’s called the no snowflakes tour. God Bless America.