Elon Declines $120 Million Bud Light Twitter Marketing Campaign: “My Principles Come First”

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Bud Light tried to slip a $120 million marketing campaign onto Twitter, knowing full-well that Elon Musk is not a fan. They must have convinced themselves that he only cares about dollars.

“I turned it down without even thinking about it,” said Musk, “I have my principles and they come first.”

Musk has shown exactly the kind of principles he’s talking about with the announcement of a new partnership with Tucker Carlson.

“Tucker says people should believe their own truths, and I completely agree.”

It’s true. If you drop a rock and squash a bug, you didn’t necessarily do it TO squash the bug but rather to drop the rock. Therefore, Elon’s principle applies.

“I consider myself a good person,” said the billionaire, “so I made sure to insulate myself legally from a bunch of the stuff he says, but at least we won’t have that nasty Bud Light.”

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He’s correct about Bud Light being nasty, patriots. It never was quite good enough for Oktoberfest. Just ask Larry Elder. Now that the name is tainted and will subject normal people to ridicule and the possibility of random attacks by imbeciles with truck flags, they can peel that dumb label off and slap a new one on. God bless America.

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